We never went camping this summer

Every time I look at you....

Well my heart doesn't leap out of my chest but something happens. Something that feels less like the boiling energy of a concert with thousands of bodies writhing and crying in time with each other, and more like a hike up the Y in the evening. Something about you keeps me warm, but you don't burn me.

It has everything to do with sunsets and the importance of driving with my windows down when it rains so hard that nothing else exists.  And the way your name feels like a smile.

You're about the moment I learned to start loving myself and the people you've changed.

I'm about one in the morning and the way your eyes looked so alive in the dark. It's about how everything became so black and white right then. It's about the moment the radio shut off. That's when it becomes real.

It's about the time your shoes didn't matter anymore. It's about the moment we tried to be better, and stopped labeling ourselves.

Did they ever matter?

I don't know. But I know that you're old enough to file a tax return, and still young enough to cry over losing your pride.

I know that sometimes you take me too seriously.

This is a story about love.
She is beautiful.
I... well, not so much. That's okay.
I love her anyway.
I think she loves me too.
I'm not sure.

This is about the first time I saw you, and wanted to look at you forever. It's about when I was jealous of your friends who were also my friends and when I saw you come to life in front of my eyes. When magic escaped from your fingertips and I knew you were special.

It's about the summer when I only ever heard about you, but I didn't mind because there was someone else.

Remember when I got in your car and we were alone for the first time ever, and we realized it was easy to talk to each other? It was sunny and a little to hot and we were in the mcdonalds drive thru.

We never really stopped talking. Remember those summer nights when we talked about love? You've been keeping me level headed. Remember when it got too late and we were dared to cuddle for five minutes?

I won't say that was the most romantic thing... it was more than a little awkward, actually. But you were warm.

Remember that trip we took? I know you do. Remember how easily we held each other? Afterwards neither of us knew what to say, and we talked a lot about how it would never work, because we're just too good of friends. All the times we went to lunch, movies, all the times we laughed and got mad at each other, all the times I messed up.

Sometime we realized we were lying to ourselves, and it all got really messy. I'm sorry about that, I'll take the blame.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that when I touch your hair or grab your hand or look at you for a little too long or smile a little too much or text you too often, it's because...

You're my best friend.