this one's all about me

I'm done pretending.

 don't want to say, "I'm fine." Anymore.

I don't want to confuse you anymore. I don't want to pity myself anymore because I am pretty freakin cool and I think I need to start listening to the people that keep saying that to me. I don't want to let you make me feel bad for loving you anymore, I don't want to feel like I'm following you and doing whatever you ask me to because I want you to keep me around.

I love you more than anything and I want you very badly but I don't think you'll have me.

So I think I'll start looking at myself in the mirror instead of you.

You're good at a lot of things, but so am I.

I'm great at paying attention to people's feelings and I love hugging people which I think is also pretty great. I'm a novelist, a poet, a playwright, and I happen to know I've written quite a few awesome letters that you've probably thrown away.

I have an excellent eye for theatre and I happen to think I'm also a damn good director. Graphic design is a thing I can do, as well as make up. I'm also a pretty good actor, while we're on the subject.

I may not be terribly skinny, and I know I could use a gym, but I think I'm pretty. I've got nice eyes, a really good nose, and a quirky, open-mouthed smile that I think is pretty cute. I have a great sense of humor and a great sense of compassion and understanding as well.

So maybe there's not a person out there whose in love with me like I am with you, but that doesn't make me any less awesome.