impossibilities and dubious decisions

I wish I could be as brave as Stephen, and talk about how I've thought about your body. About how I've thought about you with your clothes off. Not in that way, although I know how it sounds. I just mean that I've thought about it. In the most.... respectful way. To me, every inch of you is beautiful and worthy only of the love of Yours. I've only seen small bits of you, but today I saw your stretch marks and my heart burned with the love I felt for those perfect imperfections.

Maybe it's impossible.

Maybe I'm only pushing you away.

Maybe

Maybe I don't care anymore because you're going away anyway and I can't bear to leave anything behind.

Today I wanted to kiss you.

Yesterday

I wanted to kiss you.

Tomorrow

I will want to kiss you.

I know you don't love me

And I know I can't love you enough for the both of us

But

I want to kiss you

Because sometimes I feel like I can love you enough for the both of us.

I wish I could let you feel the things I feel for you.

I'm sorry.

But

I want to kiss you.

I want to look at you.

I want to be the only one you see.

I want you to look at me.

I want you to give me a chance.

I want to love you.

I'm sorry.