it's like high school all over again

Alright, here's the thing.
I can't breathe.
You're needing me to talk you're asking me to be open.
But
I can't do that.
I'm lost and I'm not sure what to do and this
Quite honestly
Is the worst its ever been.

This is the only time there could have been a future
The only time I was caught off guard
And I can't stop thinking about what we might have had
Had the circumstances been right.

And instead I'm aching worse than I ever have.
You asked me not to shut down
But how could I not?
How can you expect me to go back to the way it was?
You're going to be alright, darling. You've got a fallback plan. You've got someone to lean on.

I'm falling.
I can't see a thing and I'm lost and hurting and you're reaching out
Telling me it's going to be alright.
Saying, "The blackness isn't there. Just look at me."
But I can't see a fucking thing.
How can you expect me to trust you when you're the one who threw me down here?

You say you want to help me heal
But I'm not sure I want you to because right now
It feels like pity
And I just
Don't know what you want me to say
I just
Don't know what I can say that wouldn't hurt you
That wouldn't make this whole thing worse
Even if it seems like it can't possibly get worse at this point

I know you need me right now.
I know you need everything to be alright.
I know you need me to say it's okay
But I'm not sure it is.